Last Friday I had a bit of an epiphany. Hmmm? Is that really the right word? Maybe not… for now let’s say I had a revelation of sorts.
I finally admitted something to myself. It was hard, but once I did – I felt instantly better. So I know it was right.
I am completely overwhelmed right now.
See – just typing that out… makes me feel a little better. There is A LOT going on right now. August, September and October are BIG family months in our family. We have several birthdays, the Sugar Kids starting school in August has been stressful to say the least, this September there is a wedding out of town we will be traveling to, amongst other things. Also in October this year, my work is re-locating to a new office. If any of you have ever been part of an office relocation – it’s NOT a small matter. I know I will be putting in a lot of overtime and it will be a HUGE undertaking for the entire company.
The other thing that happens in October: Our local JDRF walk.
Enter the “Conflicted” part of this post. I want to participate. I want to gather family and friends and have our team be a presence there. But I really just don’t know if I have the capacity to take it on right now. I should have done a walk video weeks, if not months, ago. But I didn’t. I should be fund-raising NOW. But I am not. I can’t. I just can’t do those things right now.
And I feel horrible for it. I want a cure – or even just improvement in the quality of Sugar Boys life as much as any D Mom or Dad wants for their son/daughter. I do – OF COURSE I do. But there comes a point where I have to say, I have reached my limit. Sugar Daddy and I have talked about alternate forms of fund raising… indeed fund raising that can be done ANY time of year – not just at walk time. So that may be an alternative for us.
In the meantime – I have to figure out how to corral the guilt of not participating in this year’s walk. I hope I can.