Monday, January 31, 2011

T1D 365:8 - OOPS!

Re-Post: Take That, Diabetes!

I was exploring my old blog the other day, and came across a few posts that I felt particularly sentimental over.  I figured I would re-post them over the next week so I could have them on my new blog, and so that I could share them with those of you that were not following me back then.  =)

This post was originally written and posted on 3/12/10.

I was inspired to write this post today after reading this post on Joanne's blog this morning.

Keeping up with diabetes is MORE than a full time job... its a life-long commitment to your childs health, safety, and over-all well-being. Now, I imagine a non-D Mama would read that and say, "well, of course - THAT'S what PARENTING is..." Only D Mama's (and D Daddy's) understand that regular non-diabetic parenting is easy-peezy in comparison.

I have felt lately like we have really relaxed our standards when it comes to controlling what Sugar Boy eats. For example, this past weekend we were at my mom's wedding. From the time we got there - even before the ceremony - Sugar Boy and Sweet Girl both were asking for cake. I explained to them that as soon as Grandma W and Grandpa D were married we would have cake. Of course in the back of my mind I was already trying to calculate butter cream icing and strawberry-mousse filling and I was starting to feel my brain short-circuiting. There was already a lot going on that day and I was starting to feel like I just couldn't keep up with it all. After the ceremony, we went into the reception hall and the ladies from the church had prepared a wonderful lunch.... everything on the line was home made. HOME MADE. A nightmare when it comes to carb crunching. I filled Sugar Boy's plate with everything he asked for. At this point I was already getting to the "Screw Diabetes - I don't care!" state of mind. I let him eat. And it was so wonderful to just LET HIM EAT. He followed it up with a pretty hefty piece of cake...which he ate all of the icing off of first, and then decided he didn't really need the actual cake part - or the filling! I gave it a shot in the dark - plugged a number into the pump and sent out a quick wish & a prayer that I was at least close.

We got lucky.... he actually went a teeny bit LOW afterward. No problem - another "free" snack, which thrilled Sugar Boy.

Afterward, I felt guilty. Like I do every time I have a "Screw Diabetes" moment. I feel like I have failed in my diligence, and therefor I have let Diabetes win, especially when the numbers afterward are not good numbers.

Which brings me to Joannes post this morning. Its SO refreshing to know that there are other D Rents out there that do the same thing! That have the same moments.

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Having these moments is NOT "letting Diabetes win". Its just the opposite. Having these moments is proving to Diabetes that we will continue to live whether Diabetes is there or not! Sugar Boy will enjoy his food and we WILL strike that balance to where Diabetes has as little impact as possible in our lives. And when Diabetes rears its ugly little head and trys to take over we will slap it back down and say, "No way - not today - you are NOT going to ruin this for us!"

Take THAT Diabetes!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Dinnertime - Reclaimed!

So, I know that most if not all parents at some point or another have an issue with their kids not wanting to eat what is set before them for dinner.  I know this.  But really... my kids are driving me CrAzY at dinnertime. 

Here's the thing.... When we had kids I told my husband, "We are not going to be those parents that let their kids ask 'how many more bites?' and we give them a number and count it off for them, and then let them haggle that number with us until we reach an agreement that more matches what the kid wants than what the parent wants.  We are NOT going to do that!" 

But alas, for the past year or so.... we have been doing just that.

9 times out of 10 when I set dinner down in front of either of them the nerve-grating response that I get (in a high-pitched, whiny voice) is "I don't like that!"  Forget the fact that whatever "that" is, they have had before and I happen to know that they do in fact, like it.  Its just that the "that" is not the bowl of cereal or spaghetti-o's that they really wanted.

This all really started when we decided to start pre-bolusing Sugar Boy for his meals.  Its HARD to pre-bolus a toddler or preschooler.  You never know what they are going to eat!!!  So, when we realized that if we were going to get the after-meal BG spikes under control that we had to start pre-bolusing him, I started letting him choose what he wanted to eat for dinner.  Of course if he got to choose, then so did Sweet Girl... and more often than not, what they chose is NOT what I was actually making for dinner.  So I would make a meal for Sugar Daddy and I and the kids would have something totally different (usually cereal or spaghetti-o's).  Well, that was fine on the nights that it was just the four of us for dinner... even though niggling in the back of my mind was the thought that they really should be eating a healthier dinner than what they were having, but at least he was pre-bolused, right????

The real issues started to show, though, when we would have people over for dinner, and when I would ask the kids to actually eat what I was making for dinner as opposed to their cereal or spaghetti-o's.  That is when the above mentioned nails-on-a-chalkboard-high-pitched-whining would ensue. 

So, finally last night, I went into mean mom mode and laid down the law.  NO MORE PICKING AND CHOOSING WHATS FOR DINNER.  They will eat what I cook and they will eat the majority of their meat and veggie (I could care less if they skip the rice-a-roni) or there will be *GASP* NO DESSERT!!!!  And I am not arguing with them about it... if I have to encourage or cajole them into eating... *GASP* NO DESSERT!!!

There were tears.  There was, in fact, dessert with-held. But I am confident that tonight will be much better... and that a really good lesson was learned.

The sacrifice.... I am not going to be able to pre-bolus dinner like I would like to be able to.  Instead... last night we sort of bolused as we went along.  (This is where having a remote would be nice... get on that, Medtronic!!) 
Did he spike?  Yes.
Was it a horrible spike?  Not really. 
Was it worth it to feel like I was in control of dinner again? 


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I Got A Feeling - D Style!

I got a feeling that tonight’s gonna be a low night
That tonight’s gonna be a low night
That tonight’s gonna be a low low night  - whooh hoo

Tonight’s my night night
To do the checks
I got my supplies
Let’s set it up
set up that alarm
always on my guard
Jump outa that bed
Let’s get get up

You know that he had a ball
he played it up
and ran hard
which leads to a fall

I feel stressed out
Meter says five-oh
This time there’s not a doubt
we’re losing all control

Fill up his cup
Juice is just the thing
to cut it off
Lets get it down
We’ll stop the crash
Let’s burn some time
and then we’ll do it again

Let's do it and do it and do it 
and do it and do it
and do it and do it and check it
up and do it, do it 
do it, do it, and do it
and do it and do it and do it
and do it and do it and

I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a high night
that tonight’s gonna be a high night
that tonight’s gonna be a high high night
It’s the next night
and daddy’s up
I got my supplies
Lets set em up

CGMS alarm
Like Oh My God
Jump outa bed
Lets get it up

Poke his finger.
He’s high now
Look at those numbers
Just dose it down

Talk to the pump
We’ll get the jump
Re-set the clock
and then we’ll do it again

First he’s high
Now he’s low
he needs a boost boost
boost boost boost

Fight the high
Chase the low
now we’re on top
top top top top

Feel the pride
D-Rents rock
Cuz we don’t stop stop
stop stop

It’s our life
up and down
around the clock clock clock clock

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday
Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday

we keep keep keep keep going on
just to hear him say
he loves everyday
p-p-p-party everyday

I got a feeling (ooooooo ooooooo)
that tonights gonna be a good night
that tonights gonna be a good night
that tonights gonna be a good good night
(oooooooooooo ooooooooooo)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Resolutions & Hope

Every year I make resolutions.

Every year I break resolutions.

I honestly don't think I have EVER actually held to one.  But its kind of tradition, you know?

So, this year, like any other... I made resolutions.  But I did so mindfully.  And for the first time asked myself, not just what my resolutions were going to be... but WHY I was even making them. 

And then I realized.... Resolutions for me are kind of like buying a lottery ticket.  I buy the ticket knowing that I probably am NOT going to win the lottery (although, wouldn't THAT be NICE???), but there is hope that I may.  And for the next little while until the drawing I get a lot of day-dreaming done.  I think about all the things I would do with the money if we won.  What charities it would help to benefit... all the bills I could pay off... and best of all, how I could FINALLY stay at home and raise my kiddos, because the income from my job would no longer be needed.   Its all about hope.  Its about the wonderful feelings inside that hope brings.  I think that's what resolutions are for.  When a old year is ending.... and old year with all of its history... all of its good and its bad is finally coming to a close, you are left with hope for a new year.  A hope that new things, new adventures are coming your way.  No one knows what the new year will bring... but by making resolutions you can identify the things you hope it will bring.

So, what do I hope the new year will bring?

I hope to loose some weight.
I hope to be more financially solvent - and more responsible about staying on a budget.
I hope to be more honest about going to church EVERY week.
I hope to be a better wife, mother, daughter.... woman.
I hope to spend more time with my blog.

And I hope for a cure to type 1 diabetes.  You never know... maybe 2011 will be a year that makes history.  We can HOPE!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Basal Testing

Why can't it be easier?  OK - I know - that's just me whining.  Nothing about this stupid disease is EASY.  But really... of all the things we have to do, basal testing REALLY gets under my skin. 

You probably think I am nuts... I mean after all, what's a little basal testing compared to poking his fingers multiple times a day and sticking him with giant needles every three days to switch out the site and sensor, right?  What's a little basal testing compared to having to weigh his food and count carbs   What's a little basal testing compared to having to get up at night, several times a night just to be sure he is still breathing, and that he is going to live through the night.

After all of that... what's a little basal testing?

Its the ONE and ONLY time I HAVE to deny him something. 

My boy LOVES his carbs.  I mean, he L.O.V.E.S them.  And, as you know, when you test basal levels, you have to be carb-free for the period you are testing for.  And this usually leads to tears and occasionally even a slight tantrum.  For me, its when D finally really makes it into the spot-light.  Because when you are basal testing there is no just letting him be a normal kid.  And it REALLY gets to me.

But alas... I have put it off long enough.  Its been about 9 months.  And I KNOW (thanks to the CGMS) that his basal levels are a mess.  So, a-basal-testing we shall go.